Less Judging, More Loving

“If you have time to judge people, you have no time to love them.” -Mother Teresa

You’ve probably heard this phrase “Don’t judge people, you never know what kind of battle they are fighting.” Or “Thou shall not judge lest ye be judged.” Or how about “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Or “Treat thy neighbor like yourself.” I think you see where I am going here, right? Today’s topic: JUDGEMENT.

We all do it, whether we admit it or not. Some more outwardly, socially, verbally vomiting all over with their statements. The judgement stings some, annoys others, debilitates a few, sends one or two into a spiral they can’t seem to crawl their way out of.

We judge someone based on their actions; like their lack of driving capabilities, or staring at their phone at an inappropriate time, copying someone else’s work, not saying thank you when a door is held open for them. We judge.

We judge someone based on their outward appearance; they are too fat, way too fit, not the right skin tone, too blonde, too many tattoo’s, completely over dressed, extremely sloppy, too masculine, too feminine. We judge.

We judge someone based on their achievements; what kind of grades they earn, if they graduated high school, college, or got a master’s degree. How much money they make, whether they have climbed the corporate ladder or if they are a highly successful entrepreneur. What kind of car they drive, which neighborhood they live in and can they do it all while balancing a good family life. We judge.

We don’t just judge individuals either, oh no, we also judge groups of people. We like to lump people together and make assumptions about everyone in that group, because that makes perfect sense (insert extreme sarcasm and an eye roll).

We judge religious groups, political parties, different racial groups, addicts, certain professions, fans of certain professional sport teams, even groups based on their geographical locations, and the list goes on…

Some of the worst judgement I had seen, prior to this year, was moms judging other moms. I’ve seen the evil eye from a mom at the park for doing something differently. Moms asking other moms, “Why do you only have one child?” or “Why do you have so many children.” or “Aren’t you too young/too old to have another baby?” The list goes on…

Then the year 2020 hit and the judgement thermometer sky rocketed. COVID-19, the biggest pandemic since the Spanish Flu. People have been scared, understandably so, but it has allowed them to sit at home and JUDGE anyone and everyone.

If you stocked up on toilet paper, people judged you. If you went out more than once in a week- no matter the reason- people judged you. If you went for a walk outside (and especially without a mask), people judged you.

I had a man yell at me and my children from 20 feet away, while we innocently played in the sand at our park. He screamed “It’s people like YOU that are making this worse!” Mind you he did not have a mask on and we were not doing anything illegal. He made my children cry as he walked by, proud of himself for “doing his part.”

I have had to take many days away from social media because of the incredibly NASTY things I have seen “friends” say to other “friends.” I have blocked, ignored and unfollowed people who have continuously sucked the joy right out of me. And let me be clear, it is not because they have a different opinion than mine, because I welcome different opinions. It has been purely because of the online yelling and harassment, which has left my mental health at stake. I had to take a step back and ask myself: CAN I STILL BE LIGHT IN SUCH A DARK TIME?? What does that even look like for me now?

This year has been so difficult on so many people for so many different reasons. Friends and family have lost their jobs, and tragically some have even lost their lives. We may all be in the same storm, but we are NOT in the same boat. So why do we keep pretending to understand what someone else is going through? Enough so that we feel the right, or do I dare say, the privilege to judge them?

So what now? My goal for this blog has always been to be encouraging, to shine my light for others to see. You might be wondering how this particular blog post is encouraging, so let me wrap this up with a hopeful message, because there is ALWAYS HOPE…

Although our human nature is to judge people by their actions, appearance, achievements, etc…We do have the ability to break this habit! We CAN look past these initial tendencies to treat people with RESPECT, even if we don’t think they deserve it at that moment. If we want our children and the next generations after them to do better, we must start leading by example. Instead of immediately judging someone, we need to get to know them first. Understanding where someone has been can give us the knowledge on who they are today and how we can love them better tomorrow.

AND If you don’t think you can act kindly, then you need to STEP AWAY. I have had to do this lately, and it is NOT EASY! Our flesh wants to lash out with what we believe is right and true, but attacking someone and/or casting judgement on them, will get us nowhere.

We have to remember that we were all made in the image of God and we are ALL part of HIS family.  How do you treat your family? Even if I can’t agree with a family member, I can agree to disagree and still LOVE them and treat them with KINDNESS. We CAN win this battle with a little more RESTRAINT and a LOT more LOVE and KINDNESS.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

Want to see more ways on how to spread love and not noise? Check out THIS POST HERE! If you are looking for a great daily devotional check out THIS ONE from Rick Warren.