Why We Didn’t Tell Our Kids How We Voted

“Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.” -Brene Brown

It’s been a little while since I shared something from my heart, but God always has a way of encouraging me to write things in his perfect timing and I believe this topic he has been shaping for some time.

This past year, as we all know, has been one for the history books. First the world was hit by a widespread pandemic, killing thousands of people. Our government shut down all businesses not deemed “essential,” schools went virtual, beaches and trails were closed, we were basically told to stay home in order to stay safe.

Then summer rolled around and just when numbers from COVID seemed to be improving there were protests and riots in the streets of many states across the country and even across the world. The voices of the black community were rising up in unison, while the rest of the world tried to listen, educate and lift up.

Fall came which brought a new surgence of covid numbers and a political season that seemed to be never ending. The embarrassing debates, ridiculous commercials, endless banter online, it was all just too much for any one person to handle (no matter your “side” of things).

We came to realize that our children, at the ages of 6 and 8, were at the perfect ages to form their own opinions on certain topics based on the knowledge we were providing them. During the year we explained all of these events, but did so in a way to encourage our children to learn from history, but to live by faith, truth and love and not by fear.

In our home we like to keep things informative, yet simple. We have tried to teach them the most important things like…

• “So in EVERYTHING, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12
• “Two wrongs do not make a right.”
• “When they go low, we go high.” -Michelle Obama
• “Love is patient, love is kind…it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never gives up.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
• “Learn to laugh at life before life laughs at you.” 
• “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
• It’s not always about the destination, but the journey.”
• “When life gets too hard to stand, kneel.”

Keeping this in mind, we hope and pray that by being living examples to our children that they will make wise and deliberate choices in their lives. Although we DO wish to influence our children in certain ways of living their lives as a light in what can seem like a dark world at times, we DO NOT wish to pass on our inherent criticisms or hidden prejudices.

People may not want to admit it, but we have all been guilty of judging someone, or something, before we got to know them, or the situation. We believe our perception is validated by our years on earth, giving us the right to say certain comments out loud in reach of young, susceptible ears.

I remember going to school, about the age of 10, and a friend of mine wore a button for whom her parents were voting for during a certain election. When I saw her button I realized her family was not voting the same way as our family and I immediately questioned our friendship. How could we be friends if our families believed such different things? It caused a drift between us, even though neither one of us were even old enough to vote. I made assumptions about her before ever understanding the reasons behind their decision.

This is one of the very reasons why we didn’t tell our kids how we voted this election season.

Then in college, out of the home for the first time and living on my own, I met all kinds of new people from all walks of life. People who were definitely different from the way I had grown up and the way I was taught was the “right way” to live. I realized that even though our beliefs were completely opposite, we all had one commonality, the need to be loved and accepted. I found friendships in the least expected places and learned their stories of the trials they faced growing up. It was, and still is, one of my favorite times in life learning that each person has an incredible journey if we only take the time to listen to it.

This is another reason why we didn’t tell our kids how we voted this election season.

Through these life lessons I realized that I want my children to make their own decisions, not based on what I tell them they need to be, but based on the example I have set before them. I want them to decide what is important to their future family, community and nation. I want them to be bridge builders in a world that seems to want to build higher walls or to just tear them down. I want them to seek out the story behind the person, to read the book, not just the cover.

May we remember this last thought, if we are believers of Christ and our politics become more important than leading others to HIM, I think we have lost the real reason of our calling. Jesus didn’t pick sides, he picked people of all colors, of all walks of life, of all beliefs and He loved them. THAT is what we are called to teach our children as believers.

These are the reasons why we didn’t tell our kids how we voted this election season.

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Even though we do not wish to share who we voted for, we do want our children to learn the value and privilege we have to be able to vote. This is why we shared the history of our nation and how the electoral process began. I want our daughter to know that there were women before her that took a stand to make their voices be heard so that we too have the equal right to vote. I want them both to know that our military men and women lay their lives on the line to secure such freedoms and for that we are forever grateful.

Now, I hope you do not think I believe it to be a bad decision to tell your children whom you voted for during the election, because I do not. Each family has an equal opportunity to do what they think is best for them. You might have valid points to dispute what I have shared with you today and I applaud you for that, but also know this is a safe space in which I do not want to start any heated debates. I am always open to a respectful thought, which you may share below if you so choose. Remember to speak in kindness and love, for spewing words of hate or frustration usually only lead to more walls. No one has ever changed someone’s mind by yelling at them.

If you are looking for more resources on bridge builders and crossing the divide, I HIGHLY suggest watching the documentary “The Reunited States.“ You can find it on Amazon Prime Video. It shares four different tales of people who are trying their best to bring people together despite their differences. I found it to be enlightening and encouraging after the year we have had. Here is a trailer for you to check out…

At the end of the documentary they share about non-profit companies that are doing amazing things for our nation. Check out the website for more information about joining these bridge builders.

And if you are looking for more encouragement, you might find THIS ARTICLE or THIS ARTICLE helpful.