Dear Younger Me: 40 Years of Life Lessons

My big 40th birthday is here. Shoutout to all the 1983 babies heading into this new chapter of life. I felt a strong desire to share some of the life lessons I’ve learned in my mere 40 years of life after hearing a song by Mercy Me called “Dear Younger Me.” What would I tell my younger self? Of course, right off the bat, I could think of the obvious things like; wear more sunscreen, eat more greens, don’t take yourself too seriously, appreciate your bladder control before kids… you know the important stuff.;) Then once I dug a little deeper I realized I had a few more thoughts to share with my younger self. I pray one of these lessons strikes a chord with you and encourages you in some small way.

Let me start out by sharing some of the lyrics to the song …

“Dear Younger Me, Where do I start?”

“If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far, then you could be one step ahead of all the painful memories still running through my head. I wonder how much different things would be. Dear younger me, dear younger me…

Dear younger me, I cannot decide, do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life? Or do I go deep, and try to change the choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me. Even though I love this crazy life, sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride.”

Mercy Me took the words right out of my mouth (except in a much more poetic, rhythmic kind of way). Indeed, it has been a crazy life that I wish had been a smoother ride, especially the bumps and bruises caused by my own destruction. Could I convince myself to listen to the advice wise people gave me? Would she listen? Would that spare her the pain? Could that lead to a life with less insecurities and a more intimate relationship with the Heavenly Father?

Except, sometimes I don’t think we REALLY understand our need for God and dependency on him until we are propelled into a situation that leads us not only to our knees, but flat on our faces with tear stained cheeks.

Dear Younger Me…there is a purpose and a plan for the pain

When faced with the pain, cling to these thoughts… “We know that IN all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) Note: it doesn’t say all things are good, but IN all things God works for good. In James 1 versus 2-3 it reminds us that it is not IF you face troubles, but WHEN you face trials of many kinds it is the testing of your faith which develops perseverance. Finally, John 16:33 says “In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” You may never know the answer to the pain this side of heaven, but you are promised the presence of God during the struggle.

Story time: I was taught faith and saw it demonstrated all my life, but I never fully understood it. The kind of faith that is NOT defined in the perception or approval of those around me. However, I sure did look for reassurance from teachers, coaches, friends, the casting agent behind every audition table, family, boyfriends, and eventually even my own children and husband.

Dear Younger Me…you are who God says you are

Indeed, you are a masterpiece the ultimate creator made IN HIS IMAGE. “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) Your worth is not meant to be determined by the things or people in this world. You do not need anyone else but Him, for He is “THE ONE,” the reassurance you have been longing for all along. Every beautiful flower bloom, every breathtaking sunset, every cool breeze through your hair has been his love letter to you, telling you that you are his beloved & YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Dear Younger Me…God wants to protect you

Much like an earthly parent, God loves you and only gives you guidelines to try to protect you from making earth shattering mistakes. For instance, Eve was given the garden of Eden, a perfect paradise, life without sin and one single rule. God wasn’t trying to punish Eve by giving her the rule not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, he was trying to protect her. Yet even she could not heed the one boundary God had set for her. I wonder if she could go back and tell her younger self not to eat that darn apple if she would listen?

Yet, even after her mistake, God still loved her by clothing her when she felt naked. I feel sorry for Eve. She made one tragic mistake, gets kicked out of paradise, then for centuries people blame her for the entry of sin in our lives. Talk about the kind of legacy I’m sure she didn’t anticipate.

This situation could have been any one of us. I know for certain it could have been me. I mean, how many times have I eaten a “forbidden fruit” that I knew wasn’t good for me, but it appeared to be everything I needed at that very moment?!? Then, afterwards, I am left feeling disappointed and unfulfilled, still looking for something else to fill me or left feeling so ashamed and unworthy because of my decision.

Dear Younger Me…Nothing in this world can satisfy you

Nothing in this world can fill or satisfy you, only God can. So while you are in this life between two gardens, seek the vine. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

I want to believe that Eve’s decision was not the end of her story. My hope is after God clothed her and Adam and sent them away from the garden, they were still able to live a (mostly) full life (minus the whole Cain & Abel tragedy) with the love of their Heavenly Father. Eve’s legacy to me is one of redemption, much like mine (and maybe yours too).

Dear Younger Me…Think less about you

Think less about you (which goes against society) and more about what you can do for others. It is hard to think about your own problems or hang ups when you are focused on helping others. Even if it is merely praying for a friend, bringing someone a meal, or holding a baby so a mom can take a shower. Be the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth while you still can.

1 Peter 4:8-10 says “Above all, love each other, deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering, God’s grace in its various forms.”

Dear Younger Me…Focus on your blessings

Do not get caught up like the Isrealites in the desert. God kept rescuing his chosen people; first from Pharaoh and slavery, then he parted the Red Sea and protected them from the soldiers. Then his people were hungry, so God sent them manna (bread) and quail to eat and fresh water to drink. God provided time and time again, yet his people still found a way to be ungrateful and began to worship a false god.

Psalm 78 says “They had more than enough, for he had given them what they craved…in spite of all this they kept on sinning…yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities.” They had been saved from Pharaoh and saved from their sins, and yet they were STILL complaining. Oye Vey, *cue hand to forehead, just count your blessings kid!

Dear Younger Me…God is faithful and forgiving

God is faithful and forgiving, but he is also strong and powerful; do not confuse His kindness with meekness. In The Chronicles of Narnia; the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe written by C.S.Lewis, the young character Lucy is informed that Aslan is a lion and says, “I thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.” Mr Beaver replies, “Who said anything about safe? But he’s good. He’s the King.”

I love this imagery that C.S. Lewis provides the reader with a look at our Heavenly Father, our King of Kings. Who said our God was safe? The God who created the heavens and earth, who parted the Red Sea, who flooded the earth, then promised to never flood it again, is all knowing, all powerful, omnipotent. I am glad he isn’t safe, but I am also reassured that he is so good! I’ve seen miracles in my own life of his goodness and my desire is that those miracles can point others to Him.

Dear Younger Me…Stop judging

Stop judging, that isn’t your job. The things you judge others for might be the very thing that you end up struggling with later in life. Trust me on this one, let God do the judging, you stick to loving others as Christ loves us. In the famous sermon on the mount Jesus warned people of judgment, it went a little like this…

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank our of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Mathew 7:1-5)

Jesus did not mince words when he called us hypocrites if we only look at the sins of others and not the sins of ourselves. Even in the book of John, when a woman who had committed adultery was brought before Jesus he proposed one thought to the Pharisees and teachers of the law… “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7) Traditionally, she would have been stoned to death, but Jesus taught the invaluable lesson that none of us are perfect, which is why we all need the forgiveness of our redeemer. And thank goodness we do!!

Dear Younger me…you are still a work in progress

My final thought: you are still a work in progress, as you will be until the day you die, but do not let your failures be the grand finale of your life. Don’t let your hurts become your ultimate hang ups. Try to think of your setbacks as a set up for something greater, something that has eternal value. For Jesus already carried the cross for you, the work is finished!!

Let me end with the final lyrics to the song…

“If I knew then what I know now, condemnation would’ve had no power. My joy, my pain, would’ve never been my worth. If I knew then what I know now, would’ve not been hard to figure out what I would’ve changed if I had heard…

It’s not your fault. You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross. Dear younger me, you are holy, you are righteous, you are one of the redeemed. Set apart a brand new heart, you are free indeed. Every mountain, every valley, through each heartache you will see, every moment brings you closer to who you were meant to be. Dear younger me, dear younger me.”

Now tell me, what would you tell your younger self?