Getting Your Date Life Back

“Once you’re parents your marriage matters MORE, not less, because now other people are counting on you.” 

If you have been following me on Instagram lately I have been talking a lot about making our marriage a priority again. It becomes so easy to get caught up in the every day life, not to mention all the extra stuff that happens along the way; kids, school, work, house, etc… It can also be hard to keep up a regular dating schedule if you are tired, didn’t plan ahead, think your marriage is fine, don’t have child care, or a million other reasons.

So here are a few of my suggestions to overcome these hurdles and get back to having that one-on-one quality time with your spouse.

*  MARK IT ON THE CALENDAR! Look at your schedules and actually put in “date” on the calendar. This may be once a week or once a month, but find a time to spend AT LEAST 2 uninterrupted hours with each other. During this time make sure there are no phone’s (unless you are taking a picture to document this momentous moment) and preferably no other screens so you can actually talk to each other and catch up.

*  FIND A SITTER! Maybe you are like us and don’t have the option to have free child care from a grandparent, don’t let that stop you. I was recently contacted by Urban Sitter to use their services to find a babysitter and I was amazed (I was also gifted a credit to their website, but all opinions are my own). There were SO many awesome choices on their website and some were very reasonably priced. You may be hesitant to try someone you don’t know, BUT, you can look up a sitter based on groups that you are already a part of. For instance, if you belong to a church, you can look up sitters that were used by members of your church. Maybe you belong to a mom group on FaceBook, you can look up other local moms that have used a sitter. You can see their reviews, check how much they charge per hour and send them messages.

I posted a “job” for our date I had planned and within a half hour I had at least 6-8 emails with sitters that were interested in the job. I got to look through their profiles and found the right one for us. Another nice option is that I didn’t have to pay in cash. Once you sign up on the website Urban Sitter you put in your credit card and they email you when the scheduled date is over to confirm your payment. It was so super easy with no awkward money handling at the end of the night. I even came home to a special Valentine project they had worked on while we were gone!;)

*  THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! Not every date has to be dinner and a movie. There are so many options for fun things do to besides just going to a meal or watching a movie. I took a poll the other day on Instagram and asked my followers if they had ever had a spa day with their spouse. The answer was over 75% NO. Ladies and gentlemen, you are missing out! This is a great way to connect with each other, relax and do something more unusual. If you live in the SoCal area here is the best idea for a spa day…

I was contacted by Glen Ivy Hot Springs, a premiere spa location here in Southern California, to come and try out some of their services for my review, but as always all opinions are my own.

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Well, let me tell you now, we were in a little bit of Heaven. This place is chalk full of pools for lounging or swimming, hot pools, mineral pools, mud baths, not to mention all of the additional services like messages, facials, mani/pedi’s, a full hair salon and more.

They have two cafe’s; one Starbucks lounge called “GOCO,” perfect for a quick snack and coffee, or a full eatery called “Ivy Kitchen” that has a new updated menu with super healthy options, but still absolutely delicious!! I would go just for lunch!

We were treated to a couples message, which made the day even more relaxing, but if you are on a tighter budget you could just get a day pass to enjoy the pools and lunch. This would make the PERFECT VALENTINE GIFT! It’s not too late to get a gift card and surprise your significant other with a special day at the spa.

*  LOOK FOR ANY DOWN TIME! Take advantage of nap/quiet time or school time. This year was the first time both our kids were in school at the same time for about 2.5 hours. Since my husband doesn’t always have the same days off it can be hard to be consistent, BUT, we tried to make a point to go to lunch, go work out or just be together during those few hours. If there is ever a “quiet time,” or nap time or school time where you have even just an hour alone, take advantage of it. Make lunch, sit down and talk, do a quick work out video together, or go for a walk (obviously only if your kids are at school and not home sleeping)!;) LOL!

*  THE TO-DO LIST CAN WAIT! We are so guilty of trying to get the to-do list crossed off as much as possible when we have a few extra minutes, but really how important is that compared to your marriage? I was feeling so sad that we hadn’t connected in a few months that it ended up building up and causing a few emotional outbursts. I’m no marriage expert, but I do know that NO ONE ELSE is going to make our marriage a priority but us! We also can’t wait for the other person to take initiative if they don’t know how we are feeling. So lead by example, if you want love notes, leave them love notes, if you want sweet texts, send them sweet texts, if you want a date, plan a date. I have a feeling they will reciprocate when you show and tell them exactly how you feel.

What about you? Have you been able to make dating a priority in your marriage? What works for you?